Hatred
by Cerebella Kennor
Summary: L couldn't believe what he was seeing. He must have fallen asleep in his chair and was simply dreaming - though even his mind couldn't come up with something so twisted. Sayu had seemed the most normal in her family, and now L saw that she was perhaps the least normal. Light hated her - and L hated her, too.


**AN: So this is massively fucked up, but I think it turned out alright in the end. Maybe.**

L couldn't believe what he was seeing. He must have fallen asleep in his chair and was simply dreaming (though even _his_ mind couldn't come up with something so twisted).

He'd been watching the Yagami household for three days now, and nothing had seemed suspicious. It was too perfect, in fact. Light arrived home, did his homework, ate dinner, studied, helped his sister with her math, had a snack, and watched the news. Sachiko cooked and cleaned and read magazines – nothing interesting, and nothing suspicious. Sayu's routine involved television (uninteresting dramas and gossip channels), eating, and bothering her brother whenever she got the chance. Whether she teased her brother or asked for help on her homework, she was always sweet and smiling and good-intentioned. Light never seemed to appreciate his sister, L had thought. Light was always sober when she was around, but he did what she asked and never made too much of a fuss about it (which seemed suspicious in L's eyes, for siblings usually fought or argued). L had thought that Light knew about the cameras – he must, because there was no other reason for him to act the way he did. No one could be so absorbed in studying. But then the third night came, and the truth was revealed. L didn't understand how he couldn't have seen it coming. Surely the siblings had seemed to sit too closely? Or perhaps they spoke a tad softer to each other? But no, that wasn't the case. There was nothing that could have prepared L for what he was now seeing.

"Are you awake?" little Sayu Yagami whispered, peeking into her brother's room.

L saw Light's form stiffen beneath his blankets. There was a moment of silence before Light turned toward the open door and whispered back in a feeble voice, "Yes."

L had wondered what that was all about. Sayu hadn't yet gone to bed, despite the late hour, and Light had laid awake as though in wait. There was tension in the room as Light's younger sister entered his bedroom and locked the door behind her. L remembered thinking, "That's strange. Why would she lock the door?"

He knew why. He wished he didn't. He also wished that he didn't have to be the one to tell Soichiro Yagami.

"Take your clothes off," Sayu ordered quietly.

L had stared at the screen in disbelief, wondering if maybe the speakers had malfunctioned. But no, Light had visibly cringed before standing up and beginning to undress. His clothes had fallen quietly on the floor, until he stood there in the nude, fists clenching at his sides. Sayu had smirked, an expression that L had never before seen on her face and wished at once that he'd never see again. "Perfect Light," she'd murmured, "even when no one's around you're still so damn perfect. That's what I like about you, though. You always act like you're better and everyone believes you. Except for me. We're the only ones who know the truth, aren't we, big brother?"

Light swallowed, "Please stop this, Sayu. I'll forget this ever happened – I won't tell anyone, I promise."

Sayu glared, "But you're not so perfect, are you?"

"No, I'm not perfect," Light said quietly, as though rehearsed.

"That's right. Imagine what everyone would think if they knew what you do to me. How disgusted they would be."

"Sayu, I'm sorry," Light pleaded weakly, sounding as though he'd said these words a thousand times and believed that they were just as futile now as they'd ever be. "Whatever I did, I'm sorry. Please don't do this. Don't make me-"

"Shut it," Sayu snarled. "You won't tell, because even if anyone believed you, you know what'll happen."

Light clenched his teeth and nodded.

"Get on the bed."

Light did as told, perched on his own bed as though it were contagious.

"Lay down."

Light lay down, closing his eyes.

"Don't you try to shut me out!" Sayu snapped.

"I wasn't," Light defended. "I'm just tired. Maybe we could do this another night?"

"It has to be tonight; you know that. Now touch yourself."

L had wanted to laugh, but when Light's shaking hand reached down to take his flaccid penis in his grip, no sound escaped him. And now he watched as though in a trance as Light's hand moved along his cock, waking it up with mechanical movements. L couldn't believe what he was seeing. Just what the hell was wrong with Sayu? She'd seemed the most normal in her family, and now L saw that she was perhaps the _least_ normal.

"You know I love you, Light," Sayu claimed gently. "That's it, baby, rub your cock for me. Are you thinking about me?"

Light nodded, a whimper escaping him.

"Good," Sayu said.

Then she too removed her clothes and climbed onto the bed, sitting astride her brother and watching his hand move up and down his stiff shaft. Her hands stopped him and she leaned down to kiss him, telling him to kiss her back or he'd be sorry. He returned the gesture, and L saw a flash of light reflected on his face as a lone tear escaped his closed eyes. L felt distinctly uncomfortable, wondering what he should do. Should he call the Yagami household and tell Soichiro what was happening? Should he wait and show him the video (though not all of it, because even L wasn't that cruel)? He was wrenched out of his thoughts as the breathless voice of Sayu Yagami reached his ears.

"Feel how wet I am, Light. That's for you; because of you. You make me so hot."

Light's face became blank as he touched his sister, his fingers sliding between her labia and thrusting into her vagina as she guided his hand. His other hand was brought up to her chest, forcing him to cup her small breast and play with her nipple. She moaned quietly, thrusting into his hand and letting her head fall forward in pleasure.

L was going to be sick.

"Take me," she told him. "I want your hard cock inside of me. Come on, Light."

Light twitched, but his face remained impassive. He didn't move, and L could tell that he wasn't fully present, mentally. He was evidently trying to block out what was happening to him.

"Get over it," Sayu said. "You're not getting out of this. I want you to fuck me, so either you do it, or I'm going to ride your cock until you come – and you will, you always do. Don't pretend you don't like this, when I know you do. You're just as sick as I am."

Light's bottom lip trembled, and he begged in a quiet voice, "Please. Please stop this!"

Sayu snorted and then took a condom out of Light's bedside drawer, expertly rolling it down his penis. She then lifted herself up, pressed Light's erection against her opening and slid down, exhaling as he entered her. Light's eyes became glassy and flat. Sayu began moving, rhythmic motions up and down as she worked herself off on her brother's cock. "Rub my clit, or so help me God, those pictures are hitting the web."

_What pictures?_ L desperately wanted to know what would make Light, proud, intelligent, _genius_ Light succumb to his sister's threats. This was worse than just rape – it was blackmail and emotional torture.

Light's hand moved, his thumb rubbing against Sayu's clitoris as she bit her lip to smother her moans. Light grit his teeth as he felt his orgasm approaching, hating himself for his body's reaction to physical stimulation. Light came with his hand between his teeth, muffling his grunt. Sayu followed not long after, sighing pleasurably and leaning her tired body against her brother's torso. "I love you, Light," she told him. And then she lifted herself off Light's now soft penis, smiling kindly at him as she dressed herself. She was gone a moment later, kissing Light gently on the lips before she went.

L stared in shock and disbelief.

Light sat up, removed the condom, and hid it within a couple of tissues before disposing of it inside his trash can. He dressed himself slowly and paused once finished, staring at his bed through flat eyes. "I wish," he started, "I wish..." He furrowed his brows. His lips began to twitch and his eyes filled with tears. He fell onto his bed and hid himself beneath the covers. L could hear the sobs, restrained though they were. He could hear the hatred, the anger, and the helplessness. "I hate her!" he heard the boy shout into his pillow.

L hated her too.

* * *

The next morning when Soichiro Yagami entered the hotel room where L was staying, he found himself alone with the detective. "Where is everyone?" he asked.

"I sent them home for the day," L said in his monotone voice.

"If you'd have called, I would have just gone into the station, Ryuzaki."

"There is something you must know," L told him, "and I am unsure of how to tell you."

Soichiro noticed that L was using the second person and began to worry. L never spoke to anyone without referring to them by name. So he demanded, "Well, whatever it is, you should just say it. Especially if it's going to hinder your work on the case!"

"It's about your son." L began.

"You don't still think he's Kira, do you?" Soichiro wondered. "We haven't seen anything on the surveillance."

"I am one-hundred percent sure that your son is not Kira."

Soichiro sagged in relief, because even though he thought highly of his son, there had been doubts within his mind. L was the world's best detective for a reason, so now that he was certain that Soichiro's son was innocent, Soichiro could finally relax and relinquish his doubts. "That's good, then."

"Yes. It is not, however, what I wished to speak to you about."

"It's not?"

"No. Have you noticed anything strange about your children?" L asked, his tone oddly dull.

"Strange?" Soichiro wondered.

"Yes. Perhaps they used to behave differently around one another, when they were younger?"

"It's only natural that they should act differently now that they're older," Soichiro defended. Just what was L saying?

"How did they act around each other when they were younger?" L asked.

Soichiro decided to humour the detective, deciding that he'd find out what this was all about eventually. "Well, when they were younger Sayu never let Light out of her sight. Sometimes she wouldn't go to bed until he came to wish her a goodnight. But obviously she's not like that anymore. They're well-behaved, and I don't remember them fighting since Light was about sixteen."

"So their relationship changed a year ago?"

Soichiro gave him an odd look for his question, but admitted he was right, "I guess so. Not that they fought a lot before, but Sayu used to bother him much more than she does now. I'm glad about that, actually, because Light used to yell some pretty mean things to her when she wouldn't leave him alone. They've obviously just matured."

L bit his thumb harshly, wondering how to phrase what he knew needed to be said. "I think that their relationship changed because of something other than maturity."

"What?"

"Did Sayu ever do anything odd to Light? Perhaps she craved his affection as a child?"

"I already said that she wouldn't go to bed until he wished her a goodnight."

"Yes, but perhaps she touched him often? Maybe she hugged him and kissed him more than is normal for siblings?"

"She was an affectionate child, Ryuzaki. I don't see why you're asking about this. Their relationship is as normal as any brother and sister's."

L's eyes narrowed, but he forcibly made them open wide as usual. "I am asking this because your daughter is blackmailing your son into having sex with her."

There was a pause. Then Soichiro shouted, "Is this some kind of a joke!? You don't just go accusing people of—"

"I have evidence. Last night Sayu Yagami entered Light Yagami's room at precisely two o'clock in the morning. She ordered him to remove his clothing and proceeded to rape him. She mentioned leaking pictures onto the internet, and I can only conclude that those pictures have incriminating evidence of some sort involving Light Yagami."

"That's impossible," Soichiro said. "I was home last night, and I would have heard it if something happened. Stop being absurd, Ryuzaki, and tell me what's really going on. Is this some sort of a test?"

L sighed, knowing (and _understanding_) that Soichiro wasn't going to listen to him accuse his daughter of blackmail and rape without proof. So he took hold of his mouse and clicked 'play', not bothering to watch (_and trying not to hear_) as Sayu Yagami did exactly what L said she'd done.

"No," Soichiro said faintly.

L paused the video just as Sayu was lowering herself onto her brother's organ. He quickly minimized the player, not wishing to see the evidence again. He had no desire to see the way Light's eyes reflected as though he were dead. Perhaps wishing he _were_ dead.

Soichiro sat on a chair, griping the armrests tightly and shaking his head furiously, repeating "no" under his breath like a mantra, as though if he said it enough times, he'd find this whole thing an elaborate prank in bad taste. But it wasn't, and it wouldn't go away no matter how much he wished for it to. "You said a – a year?" he finally asked.

"That is what I deduced in questioning you."

"I can't believe – Sayu wouldn't..."

"She did. You have a few options—"

"Options? Don't tell me you're going to make me choose how to punish my child for – for – for _that_!"

"Do you wish for her to continue raping and blackmailing Light? It seems as though it's a scheduled occurrence, and it's going to keep happening unless we do something about it."

"I can't _choose_!"

"If I choose for you, Yagami-san," L stated, feeling anger at this man for his refusal to accept truth, "then your daughter will go to prison, and most likely be killed by Kira for her crimes. Her crimes will be the talk of the city – of the country, even – and you will be forever shamed. However, I will let you decide. Because she is a minor, prison will not likely be an option within Japan's system. She may be sent to a juvenile delinquent centre. Likewise, because her actions are so... sick, she may be sent to a mental institution. She will likely never come out. I will give you a few moments, but you _must_ decide. I will not allow Light to be assaulted once more. He is innocent, and it's my job to protect him. It's _your_ responsibility as a parent to deal with this. I will return in half an hour, and if you have not decided by then, then your daughter will go to prison and will probably be executed by Kira."

L exited the room and closed the door behind him. Soichiro pressed his face in his hands and almost let out a sob, but he forced himself to stand and to click on the player L had minimized. He didn't want to see this, but he knew he needed to. He pressed "play" and forced himself to watch as his son was assaulted by his daughter – his sweet, loving, cheerful Sayu. When she left the room, and Soichiro saw his son sobbing into his pillow, he couldn't help but join him in his tears. There was nothing he could say to defend his daughter. Her actions were despicable, and if it had been an adult (_and if it hadn't been his goddamn daughter_), he would doubtlessly send the criminal to prison – and he wouldn't blink if she was sent to execution or killed by Kira, because the act was wretched and deserved no less (_and how could this have happened when he was home?_).

But he didn't have the luxury of being impartial. This was his daughter. This was his little girl, who he had held in his arms, who he had rocked to sleep, who he had _loved_, and who he still loved unconditionally (_even though that love was marred,_ _now_). He couldn't send her to prison, but a juvenile delinquent centre wasn't harsh enough. That left one option: a mental ward. An institution that would keep her safe, but wouldn't allow her to escape until she was sound of mind. And if that never happened... He hated this. _Why_ would she do such a thing? He'd thought the two got on great! What a laugh. _How didn't he notice?_ There must have been signs. He remembered one day, about a year ago, that Light had gotten up looking sick. He remembered that. He remembered asking if he needed to stay home from school. He remembered Sayu placing a comforting arm on her brother and asking if everything was okay. He remembered Light flinching and saying he couldn't afford to miss school. _How didn't he notice?_ Looking back, he saw the tension. _Why didn't he notice?_ Was he so obsessed with his (he shuddered) perfect life that he didn't want to see anything wrong, even though it was obvious that something weird had happened to change his son's and daughter's relationship so suddenly?

"What have you decided?" L asked.

Soichiro jumped, ripping himself out of his thoughts, doubts, self-hatred. "I have."

"And?"

"I think the best thing would be to send her to a mental institution. It's obvious that she's... not right. And I couldn't stand to see her in prison, but a juvenile centre wouldn't be enough. It wouldn't make her better."

"You believe she can recover from this?"

"I don't know."

"You think her actions were caused by some mental illness or instability?"

"I don't know!" Soichiro shouted. "I know that what she did is wrong, but she's still my daughter. If there's any chance that she can repent for what she's done, I'll take it."

"I had hoped you would choose prison," L mused, "but I understand. I will immediately call the proper authorities and have her taken away. It would be best if we could find out what material she is using to blackmail Light with and where she has it hidden, so that we can remove the chance of her continuing this if she were to ever be released."

"Yes," said Soichiro. "I'll ask Light about it when I get home." His eyes looked just as dull as Light's.

* * *

Light wondered what was happening. He arrived home to see his sister shouting at their father, struggling against the men who held her. The neighbours were watching; they'd come right out of their houses and stared at the unfolding drama without shame. He watched as his sister was taken away, thrust into a van and tied down, all the while screaming obscenities and trying to scratch the eyes out of her captors. He couldn't help but feel glad, relieved. He also couldn't help but wonder what the hell she was being taken away for. "Dad?" he asked. "What's going on? Who are those people? Why are they taking Sayu away?"

Soichiro's eyes showed his pain, and Light had an idea. But it was crazy, and impossible. _How could he have found out? I was quiet, so was Sayu._ "Son, I'm so sorry. If I had known what she was doing to you, I would have done something sooner. Why didn't you tell me? You know you can talk to me about anything, don't you? I'll always listen – I'll always be here for you, if you need me."

Light stared blankly at him. Didn't he know that Light had been blackmailed?

"What did she have on you? What could have been so horrible—?"

Light pursed his lips, not wanting to say it, but knowing that there was no choice. They'd hear it from him, or they'd hear it from Sayu, who would doubtlessly blab now that she was caught. He was in trouble either way. "She has evidence of my hacking onto government and police sites."

"Hacking?" his dad asked in disbelief. "But that's not so bad – it's illegal, and I can't believe you'd do such a thing, but there must be something else?"

Light laughed bitterly. "Not just hacking. I was implanting information about criminals where police would find it."

"What do you mean?" Soichiro asked, feeling dread pool into his stomach. Surely his son wasn't Kira? He wasn't finding the names and faces of the criminals?

"Haven't you ever wondered why you'd get new information on a case when you came in the next day? I've been helping to solve cases around the world – the ones that don't interest L and his many aliases. Do you know what some governments would do to me if they learned that I was messing with their stuff? You can't imagine how much confidential information I know – information that could get me killed if I gave any indication that I know it."

"Information...?" his dad asked weakly, starting to get an idea of why those pictures were so threatening.

"Plots, conspiracies, assassinations – there are lots of things that governments world-wide want to keep hidden. Things that would cause mass panic if the public were to know. If anyone knew that I knew..."

"I think I understand," Soichiro said, feeling disbelief fill him once more. "So the pictures she had were of this?"

"Yeah," Light said bitterly. "I don't even know how she got them. I thought I was so careful... fucking stupid of me."

"Light!"

"Don't bother," Light said. "You already know I'm not perfect, so what's the point in pretending? I'm a fucking screw-up is what I am."

"That's not true," Soichiro insisted.

"If that weren't true, then I never would have gotten into this in the first place. I would know how she got those pictures. She wouldn't have... I would have found a way to stop it! But I didn't!"

"Light, it's not your fault!"

"How did you find out, anyway?"

"Uhh..."

"Dad, how did you find out?" Light asked slowly, his tone deadly.

"L has surveillance in all of the houses of the NPA agents who were working on the case before our numbers decreased," Soichiro said quickly.

"He had cameras in my room? So he... he _saw_?"

"I didn't believe him at first – Light, I am so sorry. Maybe if I'd been home more often, she wouldn't have—"

"It doesn't matter."

"It _does_! Light, I feel like this is all my fault. I haven't been around much, and maybe Sayu wouldn't—"

"Stop _talking_ about it! I don't want to fucking listen to this, okay? It's done, it's _over_, and she's _gone_. Get over it!"

The words "get over it" repeated through Soichiro's head, making him recall his daughter harshly telling his son the same thing. "Light, this isn't something you just get over. Whatever Sayu said to you is wrong. She's obviously mentally ill, and you can't take any of what she said seriously. You need to talk about this."

"I need to forget it," Light muttered, walking up the stairs and into his room, slamming the door behind him and locking it. He knew now that there were probably cameras watching his every move, but he didn't care. As long as he was alone, he was fine. He slid down his door and fell onto the floor, hugging his knees to his chest as he let his tears fall. It was over. Was it over? Sayu was gone, anyway. And it was all because of L. All because the paranoid bastard had thought Light to be Kira – or that there was a possibility that he was Kira. That didn't matter, though. What mattered was that he was finally free. "Thank you," he whispered to the empty room, wondering if the faceless detective was watching him.

He remembered wishing into his pillow that Sayu would stop, or that someone would find out and take her away before she could do anything with the photos she had. It was funny that the only time he'd never spoken the wish aloud (and he'd done so every time it had happened until the last time, when he'd finally begun to lose hope that things would change) was the time his wish came true. "Thank you, L," he said again.

L sat in his chair, watching Light. When he heard Light thank him – and thank him by name, so that there was no confusion as to whom he was thankful for – he smiled. "You're welcome, Light," he said to the screen, fingers tracing over the boy's teary face.


End file.
